The Anti-Conversation

My mom has a thing about airports and airplanes and missing flights.

This is her formula for not missing flights:

(Time of departure – airport recommended check in time) – another hour – (travel time – another hour just in case)

= Two hours early

But at least we won’t miss our flight.

My aunt and uncle flew down from Gauteng this weekend for my dad’s birthday party. They had to catch a 6 a.m. flight home this morning.

This is the conversation that happened last night:

[Disclaimer: This after about eleven hours of drinking, which had just culminated in wineglasses of Patron.]

Mom: “So we should leave here at 4 a.m. tomorrow.”

Dad: “No, 4:30 will be fine.”

Mom: “But it takes a long time to get to the airport.”

Dad: “It takes half an hour and there’s no traffic at 4:30 a.m.”

Mom: “Okay, so we should leave at 4:15.”

[This is where I start laughing.]

Dad: “4:30.”

Mom: “Okay, 4:20.”

Dad and everyone else: “4:30 will be fine, if they get there just after 5:00 it’s also fine.”

Mom: “Okay great, so we’ll leave at 4:20 then!”

Every single time.


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