They Say Your True Self Comes Out Under the Influence of Drugs

I have only ever been in hospital once.

Not including my day of birth.

In 2009, my parents took me out for lunch one sunny Sunday. I moaned the whole time that I felt ill and they moaned the whole time about what a brat I was.

Four days later I was booked into hospital to have all four wisdom teeth removed and my sinus cavities surgically widened.

This is what I looked like when I woke up. I refused to take that bandage off my face for about three days, my nose was swollen up like Miss Piggy.

155126_10150092328471535_6568218_nAttractive, right?

Mostly when people wake up from anesthesia they’re really groggy and say stupid shit.

I was no exception. Unfortunately, I remember all of it.

My recovery nurse was a lovely blonde girl who lived in Stellenbosch, where I did too at the time.

So lovely, that I asked her out.

On a date.

For pizza at Bohemia.

My one and only foray into lesbianism and the best I can do is pizza at Bohemia.

Shortly afterwards I threw up, so I’m pretty sure that’s part of the reason we never  did go out.

2 thoughts on “They Say Your True Self Comes Out Under the Influence of Drugs

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