These Are The Best Friends With Benefits

I love my friends, I have some very special people in my life.

I have never made friends with someone BECAUSE of what they do, but I have found that some friends are very useful to have around. For more than just their friendship.

Some of them are experts in fields which make my life just a little bit easier.

I’m just saying.

1. The Physio

The best bit is when they’re still in first year and need someone to practice their massage techniques on.

Useful for instant headache relief, foot strapping during times of plantar fasciitis and releasing trapped nerves under your shoulder blade (during a roast chicken dinner.)

Also, great to have on BBM for instant pain relief tips while at your desk.

2. The Chef

When dinner parties mean immaculately cooked fillet, stuffed with bits of heaven. Three different sides (perfectly roasted potatoes; beetroot, walnuts and goats cheese salad; green beans al dente) and a homemade peach tart.

If I’m ever on death row, I want that whole dinner recreated for my last meal.

Also, home made jams for Christmas presents and gourmet breakfasts after drunken nights out.

3. The Lawyer

Have not yet used but comforting to know who to call should the need for legal assistance ever arise.

Also, distributors of handy little tidbits with regards to the Consumer Protection Act, labour law and how to get a High Court clerk to give you stuff (cleavage is the key).

4. The Event Staffer/ Part Time Model

A little bit off putting at times because they’re so much hotter than you, but when you’re sitting on the couch watching Gilmore Girls and eating pickled onions and grading men’s six-packs for potential party staff you kind of forget about that.

Perks: Constant supply of eye candy; hilarious emails (Model: “I think can work the New Years Event. When is it?”); Tales from Castings

5. The Community Manager

I’m still working on this one. The potential for free stuff is enormous.

6. The Farmer

Farmers come with a farm.

Farms come with tractors, baby animals, huge fire places and total peace.


7. The Paramedic

Instant emergency advice is just a BBM away. Everything from “I have a splinter in my finger” to “mom just dropped a bottle of champagne on her toe” to “I’m sending you a picture of an open wound, tell me if it needs stitches”. (Those have all happened).

Perks include pictures sent to your phone of gory injuries and accident scenes, both horrific and hilarious stories and street cred from the time you went on an ambulance ride along.

8. The IT Guy

Officially because it’s a pain and a half when your computer packs up and it something stupidly easy to fix but you don’t know how. And they always have great tricks for making your computer run faster or free up memory. And they know the best deals on external hard drives.

Unofficially, they have every movie and series and song you’ve ever wanted. And if they don’t have it, they know a guy who does.

9. The Entertainer/ Artist/ Musician/ Athlete

I had a professional sleight of hand magician doing card tricks at my 21st. Adult tricks, not kiddie tricks. And he was just a guest with a pack of cards in his pocket.  He stole the show.

It’s pretty cool when your mate is a singer or a comedian or an actor, you go to a lot more shows than you would have and you get to hang out backstage and you feel pretty cool about it.

Same applies to sports games and rugby clubhouses.

10. Mullti multi bajillionaires

I don’t have a friend like this. Yet.

I imagine there are a lot of fancy parties and jacuzzis and private planes involved.

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